Prompt: Discuss the ideas developed by the text creator in your chosen text about the strength of an individual’s convictions when dealing with the expectations of others

The existence of expectation is a commonality within society that motivates individuals to achieve certain results. The true power that expectations have upon individuals is foreseeable by its ability to alter and change a person’s beliefs and inner feelings of self-acceptance. However, even though expectation can greatly affect self-perception, inner convictions, defined as beliefs, are the most significant factor that influences a person’s action and judgement towards themselves. Individual conviction always surpasses and overpowers the will of conforming to the expectations of others. This is demonstrated in the short story “Two Kinds” by Amy Tan where the main character, Jing-Mei, faces the conflict between abiding by her mother’s expectations of her being a prodigy or her convictions towards individual potential and desire. Amy Tan showcases that the power of expectations can ensure tremendous feelings of confidence in an individual providing motivation to achieve the set standards, but when met with neverending failures, the initial hope and confidence in potential will be lost. This leads to an individual falling victim to inner convictions of failure and inferiority that, in the end, erases the motivation presented in reaching expectations, hence, preventing the ability for improvement. 

Initially, being held under expectations will provoke a great sense of determination within an individual in the effort to reach success and unleash foreseen potential. The setting of expectations is an indirect form of communication that conveys personal beliefs of faith in potential. When faced with great expectations, even with the immense amounts of pressure, an individual develops confidence in themselves as they are constantly reassured through external support. This initial positive attitude towards expectations can be seen in Jing-Mei’s, the main character’s, first response to her mother’s vision of her becoming a prodigy. “In fact, in the beginning, I was just as excited as my mother, maybe even more so. I pictured this prodigy part of me as many different images, and I tried each one on for size. I was a dainty ballerina girl standing by the curtain, waiting to hear the music that would send me floating on my tiptoes.” In this quote, Jing-Mei states her excitement towards unleashing her potential to become a child prodigy. She engrosses herself in the visions and illusions of her mother’s expectations, specifically that of her becoming famous, referring to the child prodigy Shirley Temple that Jing-Mei is constantly urged to mimic. Through Jing-Mei’s creation of illusions towards her supposed future, she demonstrates her excessive amounts of passion and determination in the desire to meet the expectations set by her mother. Since she observes no suggestion of doubt in her mother’s belief in her potential, she develops a similar standpoint where feelings of incompetence are completely erased. Jing-Mei, hence, harbours feelings of confidence and determination that go towards enforcing the belief in her potential to become a prodigy. External expectations hold power in the ability to provide individuals with a positive mindset towards self-perception ensuing feelings of confidence and determination that can motivate action to be taken in the development and advancement of skills. 

Ensued feelings of confidence can immediately be obliterated when an individual is met with constant setbacks. Initial feelings of determination and faith in self-potential can begin to falter, which can lead to the development of convictions leaning towards doubt and disappointment. So, even though self-perception and the creation of confidence can be significantly affected by expectations, receiving results is the main factor that secures individual feelings of confidence in potential. Without the continual reassurance of positive results, an individual starts to lose hope and questions the actuality of their potential as they start doubting, not only individual beliefs towards self-potential but also the opinions of others. Jing-Mei’s experience with the loss of confidence can be seen in the quote: “Before going to bed that night I looked in the mirror above the bathroom sink, and I saw only my face staring back – and understood that I would always be this ordinary face – I began to cry. Such a sad, ugly girl! I made high-pitched noises like a crazed animal, trying to scratch out the face in the mirror.” This period of doubt occurs when Jing-Mei comes to the realization that her abilities may have limits and are not as substantial as originally boasted or imagined. Due to the constant failure she meets when attempting to pass her mother’s tests, which were ideally intended to “bring the prodigy out” of her, Jing-Mei develops an individual conviction aiming towards her inability to become a prodigy. Upon this belief, Jing-Mei’s original perception of self is drastically altered as feelings of confidence and determination are replaced with doubt and hatred. Specifically, in the last quote, “trying to scratch out the face in the mirror”, Jing-Mei shows the development of unacceptance towards individual identity. Her frustration towards her failures, or her inability to reach expectations, congregate and create the foundation for her self-destructive convictions. Setbacks and failures, without being balanced with some form of a positive result, can be detrimental to an individual’s perception of self as it easily imposes feelings of inferiority, leading to self-hatred. 

As an individual becomes convicted by feelings of self-doubt, the beliefs begin to overpower external expectations and disallows the progression of reaching individual potential. Internal expectations, also known as convictions, have a far more powerful impact than external ones. Positive convictions can ensure feelings similar to, initially, bearing high expectations, being feelings of determination and confidence. On the other hand, negative convictions can be overbearing pushing an individual, not only away from confidence, but deeper towards feelings of doubt and inferiority. The progression down this rabbit hole leaves an individual with a lack of motivation to pursue success as they are overpowered by the belief of impossibility, hence deeming any action to achieve success, useless. Upon this conviction, individuals, ultimately, lose all self-perceptive beliefs of confidence and begin to constantly ignore all opportunities for self progression and development. When Jing-Mei is informed that her mother signed her up for piano lessons she demonstrates her strong conviction towards her inabilities in the quote: “When my mother told me this, I felt as though I had been sent to hell. I whined, and then kicked my foot a little when I couldn’t stand it anymore. ‘Why don’t you like me the way I am?’ I cried. ‘I’m not a genius! I can’t play the piano. And even if I could, I wouldn’t go on TV if you paid me a million dollars!”. Jing-Mei’s strong opinion against going to piano lessons is seen both verbally and nonverbally through her whining and kicking of her feet. She is held under the impression that going to piano lessons is another test given by her mother to “bring the prodigy” side out of her. Haunted by her past failures to accomplish her mother’s tests, Jing-Mei strongly rejects this idea under the conviction of her inability to ever meet her mother’s expectations. However, the main character’s delusion is proven when her mother states that no one asks “[Jing-Mei] to be genius”, and that she only wants Jing-Mei to “be [her] best”. Jing-Mei’s misinterpretation of her mother’s intent goes to prove her development of ignorance towards growth opportunities because she is constantly held back by individual convictions of failure and doubt. The negative view of self-perception can blind an individual from the positive side of pursuing growth opportunities, as it creates a tunnel-vision that focuses on the potential for failure. Ultimately, this understanding leads an individual that never undertakes risks, which discourages the development of skills.  

Overall, “Two Kinds” is a short story that demonstrates the battle between conviction and expectation in acquiring influence over an individual’s actions. Initially, expectations have great power in that it imposes feelings of confidence and determination. This powers individuals to undertake action and seek all opportunities for growth and improvement under the conviction that they hold the ability to accomplish such visions. However, when met with constant failures and setbacks with no evidence of success, the original feelings of confidence and determination, ensued by expectations, are obliterated and replaced with the belief of doubt and incompetence. These inner convictions that an individual adheres upon themselves lead to the development of ignorance towards potential opportunities of growth, differing from the beginning. This occurs under the belief that, since there was never any evidence of success, taking upon the effort to tackle opportunities that have the potential for failure, is not only embarrassing but also a waste of time. Henceforth, an individual falls into a perpetual cycle of self-doubt, lack of confidence and disregard towards individual growth and development. Failure is the factor that determines the successor in the battle between conviction and expectation. In order to maintain a positive self-perception along with feelings of confidence and determination, an individual should not ever fall victim to the downgrading messages given by failure. 

Sources (embedded in photos): https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/yvun3GaPpIhMJGqgTfMOPCUvT4sz4ubQActiZBUYY6S53SFcLuKdXurd5iHXOrAtVzx3QQ=s85